Cosa posso dire? Che la maggior parte della gente fa schifo? Già detto. Che ad un certo punto non ti sembra di avere un sacco di alternative, perchè qualcuna la escludi per decenza, qualcun’altra non hai la stoffa (le palle) per seguirla, quelle accessibili guarda caso si chiamano in quel modo che non ti piace, compromesso. E allora che cazzo fai? Ti sporchi le mani, che non è la stessa cosa, è che è ancora l’unica cosa che ti pare accettabile. Te ne fotti dell’autostima, dell’immagine di te, della correttezza, della coerenza e fai. Pragmatismo, che in un certo senso è ottusità, certo. Ma se fai tanto da guardarti in giro c’è sempre qualcosa da fare, prima di pensare. Appoggiarsi o dipendere? Non so, ma può essere rovesciato. Te ne fotti dell’ideologia e fai, qualche volta per te, qualche volta per gli altri. Poco male e con dubbi risultati e se qualcuno ti chiede perchè non lo sia nemmeno, ma fai, forse perchè semplicemente sei fatta così. Perchè la vulnerabilità degli altri ti irrita, ti deprime, ti fa sotto sotto di fa tenerezza. Decidi di fare il delfino per molti motivi, c’è anche una dose di snobismo, di sottile disprezzo di cui non vai fiera, ma c’è anche il desiderio di proteggere gli altri da te stesso. Sai che se fossi uno squalo saresti di quelli letali, non sei portata ai rituali di minaccia, al mostrare i denti, ti annoia, ti svilisce, non è un gioco per te. Non puoi giocare a questo gioco con gli altri e allora te ne tiri fuori. Però se servisse lo faresti di mordere, e senza nessuna esitazione. E’ un casino, è vero. E’ una delle tante accezioni di ipocrisia. Ma che cazzo fai se non vuoi cedere? Se ogni volta che stai per farlo e che dici oh basta, che palle, incroci lo sguardo di qualcuno, qualcuno che ti costringe alla fierezza, alla bellezza. Che silenziosamente ti dice non importa se non sei tanto bella, ma un poco bella. La generosità è tutto qui in fin dei conti no? Accettare di essere anche solo un po’ belli. E’ troppo comodo usare il sono uno stronzo come disclaimer e chiamarlo assumersi le proprie responsabilità, è un alibi del cazzo. Ah, tutti saremmo più belli se non facessimo niente, se l’immagine di te non la metti alla prova te la puoi tenere lì intatta per tutta la vita, un abito suntuoso chiuso nell’armadio: non c’è pericolo che ti stia male, che ti ingrassi, che ti faccia sembrare una ridicola e patetica bambolina,se non lo indossi. Te lo ammiri appeso alla gruccia e pensi: oh, se solo lo indossassi, come sarei bella.  Ogni tanto lo mostri a qualcuno furtivamente, vieni vieni a vedere, lo mostro solo a te…non è bello e delicato ed innocente? Ma mettitelo sto cazzo di abito, o te lo metteranno quando sei nella bara e diranno ma guardala, non sembra una bambina?

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